The Things We Can’t Say Out Loud

  NOTE:  Before you get excited,  this isn't erotica  This is my story this is my voice  my collection of unsaid and unanswered prayers this is the end of my silence because my body became a battlefield  long before it had a chance to be a home  ENVY THE BROKEN  I envy the ones who leave this world with their hearts still whole untouched by betrayal, unshaken by the kind of pain that tears you open and leaves you bleeding in silence. I envy those who’ve never had anything stolen from them. Whose love wasn’t taken used, discarded, forgotten. The ones who fall in love and stay there. Who walk freely, lightly, without ghosts gripping at their heels. They don’t lie awake at night, replaying the wreckage, sifting through memories like shards of glass wondering if they’ll ever be lovable again. Their walls aren’t fortresses. Their smiles don’t tremble. Their touch isn’t hesitant. Their hearts don’t hide. I would never envy the broken. Because I know how...

  LOVE YOU  I’ve never been at a point in my life where having a partner felt possible.  Seeing that I've planned my life out to forty, with no mention of a partner. But now, looking ahead, I don’t want to be alone. And After meeting you moving forward without you feels wrong. When I look at you, I don’t want to just ask how you slept; I want to kiss you awake every morning. I don’t want to simply ask about your day;  I want to sit beside you with our feet on the coffee table, sharing a play-by-play of every moment. I don’t want to just hear about all the places you want to go; I want to hold your hand as we explore them together. And I certainly don’t want to hear your hopes and dreams  unless I can stand beside you as you accomplish every one. All of this to say: When you touch me, it takes my breath away. When you look at me, the entire world melts away. When you smile, I can’t help but smile back. When you hold me, I feel so safe. And when you kiss me, I n...